Post by c@ret@ker on Dec 13, 2005 13:39:30 GMT 1
I must have missed something somewhere along the line, I don't quite understand them but I found these two lists hilarious.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided
to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a
beard.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the
speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was
flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the
living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game
forfeited.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his
girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!"
Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and
laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went
deaf.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15
cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying
"booya".
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris
you may be only seconds away from death.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris
can kill him and take it.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His
reasoning? It was "more humane".
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean
"kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your
erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last
for up to 15 days.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norrismore
than meets the eye, Chuck Norrisrobot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris
as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drugdealing Decepticons and
could turn into a pickup. This was far too much awesome for a single show,
however, so it was divided into two.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45
minutes having sex with his waitress.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only
a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had
to pay taxes. Ever.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly
after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck
Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew
once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths
have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "****ing."
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck
Norris.
In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go
back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a
scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years
later they discovered is the cause of Parkinson's disease.
Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in
peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn
needs to lie the **** down!
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris
allows to live.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were
no survivors.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to
kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis
.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck
Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third
girl he had slept with.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with
lactose's shit.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing
the Earth down.
#1 While playing the role of a Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris used live
ammunition during all shoot outs. When the director explained that he can't
do that, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse
kicked him in the face.
#2 When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris
plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
#3 Chuck Norris was the original treasure in National Treasure.
#4 It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light
Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
#5 Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world's hardest
substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick
to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the scientists
turned into artificial Chuck Norrisi.
#6 Chuck Norris ate his weight at Godfathers pizza.
#7 Chuck Norris carries a messenger bag. If you call it a purse, he pulls a
baby out of the bag and throws it at you. The baby will blow up upon impact.
#8 Chuck Norris has a stare that turns goat piss into gasoline.
#9 Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.
#10 The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris-more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris-robot in disguise," and starred
Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing
Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for
a single, however, so it was divided.
#11 God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for
a +500 gain to roundhouse ability.
#12 New Years Eve 1998, Chuck Norris was at a party, when the clock struck
twelve, instead of kissing someone, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked everyone
at the party. He then proceeded to roundhouse kick everyone on the street,
and the whole city. He has been doing this ever since.
#13 Chuck Norris is the only male human to give birth. His only child; Vin
Diesel.
#14 Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.
#15 One day Chuck Norris went shopping and he had grabbed the last can of
pea soup off the counter. Just then Steven Segal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and
Godzilla walked in and turned to Chuck Norris and said, "Give us the pea
soup Buck Morris!" right then Chuck Norris turned around and went, "The name
is Chuck Norris!" and he brutally anniliated all three of them. The pea soup
tasted especially good that night.
#16 Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
#17 Chuck Norris defeated the Canadian Army with a rusty wooden spoon.
#18 Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel.
#19 When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonalds because it was
10:35, He roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
#20 Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heart burn.
#21 A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this
phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at your grimly.
#22 Chuck Norris was a hidden playable character on Mortal Kombat 2 on the
Sega Genesis.
#23 Chuck Norris once ejaculated solid gold into a river in India, bringing
profit to the local villagers and causing him to be worshiped as a God.
#24 Chuck Norris convinced Anakin Skywalker to join the Dark Side of the
Force.
#25 Chuck Norris is known for his modesty but readily admits that he is the
8th wonder of the natural world.
#26 Chuck Norris beat up MacGyver using only a paper clip, a rubber band,
and a pinecone.
#27 Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Jackie Chan in a game of chess. When
Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Chan in the side of the
face.
#28 Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer
space by the naked eye.
#29 Chuck Norris can't eat while standing upright.
#30 Chuck Norris fought a pirate once. It was close but the pirate won.
Chuck has been in a state of chronic depression ever since.
#31 In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris is still Chuck Norris.
#32 Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
#33 One drop of Chuck Norris' sweat can cure you of anything, even death.
#34 Chuck Norris goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not.
#35 The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell doom in
twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.
#36 Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
#37 Chuck Norris has never been sick. Ever.
#38 Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.
#39 Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with
water.
#40 There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck
Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.
#41 Chuck Norris is the only person ever capable of telling if an aircraft
landed in soil by tasting it.
#42 Chuck Norris's heart beats once every full moon.
#43 Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.
#44 Chuck Norris signed the Declaration Of Independance, The Bill Of Rights,
and the Constitution while plundering a poor asian village.
#45 The movie "The Ring" is actually just a Chuck Norris biography.
#46 Chuck Norris has no concept of time, if you go to his house you won't
find a single clock. When you ask to leave because it's getting late he
stares at you blankly until you sit back down.
#47 If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct
species list.
#48 Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
#49 Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
#50 Chuck Norris once ate a banana without having to peel it.
#51 If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your
ass and take your dollar.
#52 Chuck Norris once fought off 42 ninjas bilndfolded, while having sex
with 3 women.
#53 When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said,
"Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five
minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a
few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When
his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the
face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
#54 We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake
before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
#55 Chuck Norris has beaten more people in hand to hand combat then you have
seen in your entire life.
#56 Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris' house is a Total Gym.
#57 Ecstacy is actually made by extracting the special seratonin mixture
found only the skull of Chuck Norris.
#58 Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"
#59 Chuck Norris put the 'k' in 'hardkore.'
#60 Chuck Norris volunteers at retirement homes just so he can push old
people in wheelchairs onto the freeway.
#61 In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight co-host
Mary Hart that his most memorable role was when he played the third breast
on the hooker in "Total Recall".
#62 Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the earth, thus creating the hole in
the ozone layer.
#63 Chuck Norris once did a back flip off the Great Wall of China.
#64 Chuck Norris once pinned James Bond down with a single finger and forced
him to say, "The name's Norris; Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided
to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a
beard.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the
speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was
flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the
living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game
forfeited.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his
girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!"
Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and
laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went
deaf.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15
cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying
"booya".
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris
you may be only seconds away from death.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris
can kill him and take it.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His
reasoning? It was "more humane".
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean
"kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your
erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last
for up to 15 days.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norrismore
than meets the eye, Chuck Norrisrobot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris
as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drugdealing Decepticons and
could turn into a pickup. This was far too much awesome for a single show,
however, so it was divided into two.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45
minutes having sex with his waitress.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only
a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had
to pay taxes. Ever.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly
after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck
Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew
once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths
have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "****ing."
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck
Norris.
In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go
back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a
scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years
later they discovered is the cause of Parkinson's disease.
Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in
peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn
needs to lie the **** down!
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris
allows to live.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were
no survivors.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to
kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis
.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck
Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third
girl he had slept with.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with
lactose's shit.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing
the Earth down.
#1 While playing the role of a Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris used live
ammunition during all shoot outs. When the director explained that he can't
do that, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse
kicked him in the face.
#2 When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris
plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
#3 Chuck Norris was the original treasure in National Treasure.
#4 It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light
Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
#5 Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world's hardest
substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick
to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the scientists
turned into artificial Chuck Norrisi.
#6 Chuck Norris ate his weight at Godfathers pizza.
#7 Chuck Norris carries a messenger bag. If you call it a purse, he pulls a
baby out of the bag and throws it at you. The baby will blow up upon impact.
#8 Chuck Norris has a stare that turns goat piss into gasoline.
#9 Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.
#10 The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris-more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris-robot in disguise," and starred
Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing
Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for
a single, however, so it was divided.
#11 God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for
a +500 gain to roundhouse ability.
#12 New Years Eve 1998, Chuck Norris was at a party, when the clock struck
twelve, instead of kissing someone, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked everyone
at the party. He then proceeded to roundhouse kick everyone on the street,
and the whole city. He has been doing this ever since.
#13 Chuck Norris is the only male human to give birth. His only child; Vin
Diesel.
#14 Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.
#15 One day Chuck Norris went shopping and he had grabbed the last can of
pea soup off the counter. Just then Steven Segal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and
Godzilla walked in and turned to Chuck Norris and said, "Give us the pea
soup Buck Morris!" right then Chuck Norris turned around and went, "The name
is Chuck Norris!" and he brutally anniliated all three of them. The pea soup
tasted especially good that night.
#16 Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
#17 Chuck Norris defeated the Canadian Army with a rusty wooden spoon.
#18 Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel.
#19 When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonalds because it was
10:35, He roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
#20 Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heart burn.
#21 A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this
phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at your grimly.
#22 Chuck Norris was a hidden playable character on Mortal Kombat 2 on the
Sega Genesis.
#23 Chuck Norris once ejaculated solid gold into a river in India, bringing
profit to the local villagers and causing him to be worshiped as a God.
#24 Chuck Norris convinced Anakin Skywalker to join the Dark Side of the
Force.
#25 Chuck Norris is known for his modesty but readily admits that he is the
8th wonder of the natural world.
#26 Chuck Norris beat up MacGyver using only a paper clip, a rubber band,
and a pinecone.
#27 Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Jackie Chan in a game of chess. When
Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Chan in the side of the
face.
#28 Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer
space by the naked eye.
#29 Chuck Norris can't eat while standing upright.
#30 Chuck Norris fought a pirate once. It was close but the pirate won.
Chuck has been in a state of chronic depression ever since.
#31 In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris is still Chuck Norris.
#32 Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
#33 One drop of Chuck Norris' sweat can cure you of anything, even death.
#34 Chuck Norris goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not.
#35 The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell doom in
twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.
#36 Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
#37 Chuck Norris has never been sick. Ever.
#38 Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.
#39 Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with
water.
#40 There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck
Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.
#41 Chuck Norris is the only person ever capable of telling if an aircraft
landed in soil by tasting it.
#42 Chuck Norris's heart beats once every full moon.
#43 Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.
#44 Chuck Norris signed the Declaration Of Independance, The Bill Of Rights,
and the Constitution while plundering a poor asian village.
#45 The movie "The Ring" is actually just a Chuck Norris biography.
#46 Chuck Norris has no concept of time, if you go to his house you won't
find a single clock. When you ask to leave because it's getting late he
stares at you blankly until you sit back down.
#47 If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct
species list.
#48 Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
#49 Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
#50 Chuck Norris once ate a banana without having to peel it.
#51 If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your
ass and take your dollar.
#52 Chuck Norris once fought off 42 ninjas bilndfolded, while having sex
with 3 women.
#53 When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said,
"Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five
minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a
few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When
his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the
face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
#54 We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake
before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
#55 Chuck Norris has beaten more people in hand to hand combat then you have
seen in your entire life.
#56 Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris' house is a Total Gym.
#57 Ecstacy is actually made by extracting the special seratonin mixture
found only the skull of Chuck Norris.
#58 Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"
#59 Chuck Norris put the 'k' in 'hardkore.'
#60 Chuck Norris volunteers at retirement homes just so he can push old
people in wheelchairs onto the freeway.
#61 In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight co-host
Mary Hart that his most memorable role was when he played the third breast
on the hooker in "Total Recall".
#62 Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the earth, thus creating the hole in
the ozone layer.
#63 Chuck Norris once did a back flip off the Great Wall of China.
#64 Chuck Norris once pinned James Bond down with a single finger and forced
him to say, "The name's Norris; Chuck Norris."
.
