emotional needs

[Novak]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy
them all.



She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, Lets
get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.

Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this
is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled.

"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[NoiT]

LMAO!!!!!!!

very nice, Novak. very nice

[Pug']

haha yeah thats funny. I've heard this before somewhere.